Roberts Blog

Culture, Is it untouchable? Or does it change with the times?

What is culture? That has been something I have been pondering for some time. I have come to some conclusions (for at least now). The first is I had misunderstood what culture means

I had the words culture mixed up with customs. Culture is what the “group, team, organization, country can be identified with.

The culture of a group can be very good, heathy and beneficial or it can be sick and demented ! Luckily for the most part it falls someplace in between.
Culture is not untouchable! Let me give an example? Imagine a family which has lived through the starvation times of world war 2 or families that survived the the Great Depression of 1929.

Often when you meet a family which is raised in one of those cultures the effects are easily seen.

Or a family who has a culture of hoarding? This to is easily observed but I ask is it the healthiest. Unfortunately too often it seems to me that culture are accepted as the way it is. Masquerading as a false and inevitable truth of life

I am tempted to use some harsh words to share how I really feel about some of the thngs I have seen as culture, selling a child to trafficking for the family to survive, or a girl baby being discarded at birth because a male has more worth!

Should I go on? I think not! Sure not all is this Obivious or it would be easier to convince and influence to change. Some is so ingrained into the family systems like a spirit of poverty . Our family is a poor family, we will always be poor so why even try or even hope that something may change.

Dont dream to be a doctor or leader. That is a childish dream. Settle into more sense able work. Something more practical . right?

Well what is the word I search for? The one that says poppycock! Does that work? I think so!

So what do us outsiders do? You know the ones who just don’t understand. Do we just accept it. Is that our culture do we accept injustice or do we step up and make a difference ?
I know some of you are saying hey what can I do?
Robert you can’t change the world! No I can’t.
But I know WE can change the world of a child! What would happen if we just said this year I’m going to find a way to make a difference in “the culture”

What difference does it make if we say hello back to a teller or even ask how they are and listen? Or stop and smile at the next homeless looking for a handout. I’ve done this and often they stop, don’t ask again and smile back,
Small things you bet. But what if? I for one am working to change my self-absorbed self and stop and say hello. Maybe even actually help someone one. Yes sometime financially but what I believe makes the most difference is to give of my most precious possession…. My time, slow down enough to let others know I care by asking and listening!

The culture is touchable! It is changeable and so often waiting for someone to do something!

It’s warm, and seems like more and more people every trip. The Vietnam I first encountered in just 11 years ago seems to be gone forever.

I feel sadness seeing all the change. Yes only a handful of years ago, I would pray for a new restaurant and gosh what would I do to have a 3 or 4 star hotel to stay at. But today I only worry as I look around and see dozens of new restaurants and new 4 and 5 star hotels.

I see the changes but don’t see ways that this growth can be sustained. More and more kids are being trafficked. Narcotics are plentiful. Skirts are shorter (MUCH!), Legalization of prostitution is being discussed and casinos are dotting the landscape, and HIV / AIDS is spiking!

I can’t help wonder where is it all headed? Now I understand poverty in many different ways. One of the biggest signs of poverty I see is Spiritual poverty. Even in this communist nation I have seen government documents encouraging spiritual beliefs, recognizing them to be a foundation or undergirding for this quickly developing nation.

Yes it is a different Vietnam then when GIBTK first arrived here. But the needs are not only greater but there is an urgency that I and many others sense. Something must be done! And you know what? GIBTK not only gets too, but will be a part of bringing some lasting answers into this nation! Yup that’s all of us folks!

Hope you’re ready for the ride. I know we can’t do it without you and yes no way without our God!

><((((º> BBlessed

It has been some time since I added to this blog. To be honest with you there is so much spam that comes in as comments I wonder if anyone really reads these things. Let me know if you do read it.
As far as my travel down the road of wondering about Culture and if it something that if is none of my business to try and influence it. I have gone back and forth on this topic in my mind and with many conversations.
Though in many ways it really is none of my business, being a foreigner and making a judgment call that something is incorrect. I think we all have a responsibility to say and to do something when we see it as an injustice.
To see situations where children are either being sold to sex and work traffickers and not to do something is criminal! To see that because of tradition a child be pulled out of school to help a family member who was not able to take care of them when they were below working age. Well maybe it is none of my business but I still will try to step in and do something! Someone has too.
I guess one could ponder what the right thing to do forever is. But I would rather try and do something and fail then to have not tried at all!
So what do you think?

So here it is Jan 7th 2011 and waiting to board a flight to Vietnam. This is where my life has been “stirred”. Since the last few posts I have had a number of life lessons. Some have been good and others were a bit painful one thing I realized while talking with some friends is this culture change I write about may not be in the best interest of many involved. It is good to take care of family. But when and how does one do that best?
Another lesson I saw was that here I was working to teach and encourage orphans to go to college. A good thing for sure! But how I was motivating them no so good. You see I was telling them to go to school. Get a good job so they too can buy a home. Then it hit me. Isn’t that the “American Dream?” Isn’t that what got not only America into the financial trouble, but most of the world too? SO I sit and wonder was this culture thing I struggle with all bad….. Well I will be posting more and working to process. Thanks for all the replies and kind words. Honestly I am shocked so many have read my ramblings. God Bless you all!

Child trafficking, does it have anything to do with culture? I am not sure. Could it be said the culture of Vietnam is poverty and life does not have the value it does in other cultures? The child trafficking issue is around the world. I have a friend who says it is the story no one wants to hear. It happens in our neighbor hoods, but ever so much more in Vietnam.
Here I am again faced with issues that I was not trained for. What does a guy do? It started from an email I got from my staff asking us to fund another home. She had come across 3 children that were going to be sold! Here is an excerpt from her email
“I also let you know about three kids cases and I would like to open another house. There are three kids who are in an emergency state. They 7, 14, 15 years old. They are going to be sold for a stranger. I need to decide if I am going to keep them.
I learned about them from a friend, a Christian who, who knew the kid’s mother. And knew the mom had this idea and she wanted money. The cost is very cheap, she did not want to keep children because she felt helpless whenever she saw her kids and knew they needed things.
I followed my friend to the place where the kids lived, a slum. It is terrible. I want to tell you and wait for your answer; if you are ok I will do next step and rent a house (Totally there are three kids already) as soon as possible. They are such poor kids. Thank God they have not been sold yet! The mother wants to rid of the children as soon as possible”
So what does a guy do and how often is this scene repeated in Vietnam and so many other places. Is it a culture that breeds this type of poverty or is it even the poverty? Is it more?
I would as.k do I say yes to open another home in this economy? Does it make a difference when you look at the big picture? Probably not but you know what? It makes a difference to these 3 kids? And it makes a difference to me

Is triage relief enough? I have been wondering recently what the best way to go is. Is it best to just come in & provide what is needed, feed the hungry, fund a surgery, build a house etc. Is that where is wisest to stop. Or do we take further?
Do we seek to build relationship and learn what can be done to help a child be all they can be. Sure a surgery truly transforms a life but is that where it stops or do we continue to walk with a child. Help them to get back to where they should be and then continue to find opportunities for them to excel!
When my wife and I began Giving it Back to Kids our dream was to help children have hope and opportunity for a future. Much like we plan for our own children. As I spoke to other organization leaders I was told that is too difficult, too much work and too costly. My wife and I agreed we will walk with the kids and work to transform lives giving them opportunities to be all they can be.
Some days I am wonder. Is this the right way to go? For sure it would be less costly. Our funds could be used to help more kids. Our “number” of helped kids would be much higher. Is that what donors look for? I know it would be a LOT less work for our GIBTK team in Vietnam. They would not have to stay in contact with the kids and their families. Only need to fund the need then take a photo and close the book and go on to the next child.
YUCK! Is what I still feel as I type this? I want to see leaders; I dream (and work) to see kids that have broken the cycle of poverty their families have lived in for so many generations. I do not ever want to see another child sold to a trafficker just so the rest of the family could live.
But is this right? That is my question today. If it is the way to go then how do we change culture and how do we fund these changes?

Flying home I picked up a English version of the newspaper. There was a article about concerns that there is more Viet males being born then Females. And how it was goong to lead to problems. The govt. statement was it is a matter of culture. They said it is going to create a real problem if this culture does not change.

I heard the way to change culture is to do things that change the culture. At first I shook my head wondering what does that mean? Duh… But as I have thought about it, thats it! We need to find ways to influence Students and their families to change their thoughts, one student at a time. As I type I realize that is what GIBTK has done from the beginning. Providing life changing solutions one child at a time!

So far this trip has been one of the most unique and interesting trips yet. At the same time I have more questions then ever. All I know is something needs to be done. How does one go about changing culture and customs. last night the binding of feet was brought up. That was the “norm” for a long time. How did that change?

Whats it take to change culture? Is it even something a foreigner has a right to wonder? Many cultural things I would fight for but some of what I see is simply not in the best interest of those invoved and continues the cycle of poverty. My opnion today anyways . Next week who knows?

Culture says that a child as they get older are to take care of their family, even extended family. But what I am see gets under my skin. A kid grows up in an orphanage. When they get “of age”often just 16 or less can go to work the family comes to take them home.
Often it is a aunt, or grandparent. Who were not able to care for them and put them in the orphanage and were able to take care of themselves while the child grew up.
But now that child is going to school and may be inline to go to college or university they pull them to “come home” . The kids education stops, tries to find a job to support his “family” .
To me this just short circuts a future for the kid and continues the cycle of poverty.
So what do you think? What do we do. Accept it or?